It’s not their fault - they really do mean well. But you’ve followed their advice to a ‘T’ and it’s just not working. WHY is that and who am I talking about? Your friends, your co-workers, your trusty Facebook mom’s group, and sometimes (gasp!) even your pediatrician.

As parents, we are constantly being bombarded with a whole bunch of conflicting advice about sleep - so much so that it feels like we end up chasing our tails and never getting what we want - which is a child that sleeps all night!

So I’m going to de-bunk some super common sleep myths for you today and give you advice that really works!

Myth # 1

A later bedtime will help your child sleep in.

Nope. Nope. And nope! Research shows that children who go to bed before they become overtired and overstimulated have fewer night wakings and sleep later in the morning. It may sound counter-intuitive, but if your baby and toddler is are struggling with early morning wake ups, it’s more than likely because they need more sleep - not less. An earlier bedtime = a better night’s rest for all kiddos.

Myth # 2

If your child takes a long time to fall asleep at bedtime, it’s because they’re not tired enough.

Although that might be true for older toddlers who are still taking naps, it’s very rarely the case for children under 2. What’s usually happening is that parents are mistaking their child’s signs of overtired-ness for signs that they are not tired enough, because their behavior looks totally opposite of what we think it should. If you’ve ever tested this theory, you’ll probably agree that bedtime was even harder - and your mornings got grouchier. This is because children will fall asleep - and stay asleep more easily when put to bed early, but actually appear to be “wired” and have a much more difficult time settling into sleep when they’re overtired.

Myth # 3

Children will get the sleep they need.

For the first 2-3 months, this is usually true. But by the time they reach the 14-16 week mark, many babies have developed dependencies on various sleep “props” (soothers, feeding to sleep, rocking, patting, etc.) and all of a sudden they’re no longer able to fall asleep without that something. This puts both you and baby in a predicament that often leads to baby waking multiple times a night and taking short naps during the day. That’s because they wake up during those first light stages of sleep looking for the thing they’ve learned to rely on to get back to sleep (which can usually only be provided by you). If you want to see a dramatic change in how well and how long your baby will sleep, it’s crucial that you break those sleep associations and give them the opportunity to learn to fall asleep independently.

Myth # 4

Skipping naps will help baby sleep through the night: DON’T. DO. IT! Dropping naps too early is much more likely to derail your child’s nighttime sleep than it is to help them sleep through the night. If you are like many moms who have been desperately seeking sleep and you’ve been around the internet a time or two, you probably know this is because sleep begets sleep. The better rested your baby is during the day, the better they will sleep at night. Once your child is ready (usually around 3-4 years), cutting the daytime nap may help to solve nighttime issues. However, this is generally only a solution for preschoolers who have otherwise been amazing sleepers and who have, suddenly, for at least a few weeks, been having nighttime sleep issues. Otherwise, the reason behind a sleep disruption is usually a milestone or another developmental situation that will more than likely resolve itself (as long as you’re staying consistent with your routine). Keep on keepin’ on sister, and do your best to make sure your child continues to get restorative daytime sleep and I bet you’ll see the return of your good little sleeper again.

Myth # 5

Children will “outgrow” their sleep problems.

Ever heard of the “wait it out” method? It’s pretty self-explanatory. All you have to do is just wait out all the sleepless nights and napless days as long as it takes (which could be one, two, five or ten years) and then one day, POOF! Your child’s sleep will magically improve! It sounds dreamy, but there are a couple of problems with this theory…

First, if this were actually true, it means that nobody in your house will be getting a good night’s sleep for a real long time. Second, and I say this with all the love in my heart… most sleep problems require changes from the parents and the child in order to be resolved.

While physiological issues like bed-wetting might resolve themselves over time, issues like getting to sleep or being able to go back to sleep without intervention by mom or dad, often require some kind of behavioral change before they will disappear for good. Once you address the underlying behavior behind the sleep, both you and your family can begin to get the rest you need - every night!

Too tired to put the puzzle pieces together?

Feeling overwhelmed by the thought of having to try something totally new?